Saturday, February 5, 2011

Why Beading in Particular Is A Bad Idea

I've taken up a new and probably doomish hobby - beading! Yaay! Doomishness! Yaaay! Beading!
But, I'm not joking here. Beading makes you INSANE, and with me being suitably insane already, this is just redundant. Also, it takes me that little bit further from my goal. Which is for people to not run away screaming when I start talking.
Oh? You want to know WHY beading is so doomishly doomish? Well there are millions of reasons for a hyperactive person like me, but I'll list a few.
One: You've been planning, designing, and stringing on beads for HOURS. Then, when it's time to put on the final bead, you realize you have accidentally put it on the BEGINNING with its identical little friend. NOOOOO!
Two: The 'HOURS' part + a hyperactive, mostly insane person. 'Nuff said.
Three: You're done and are wearing your beautiful creation around the house when for some reason it comes undone and tiny wittle beads go everywhere.
Wouldn't that put a knot in YOUR knickers?
With that said, if you bead or are planning to, I hope i haven't put you off. It's actually quite fun, just a bit time consuming. ;)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A Knitting Sister

My sister is knitter. She's super at it. She can knit anything, positively ANYTHING, that she wants to. A sweater. A stuffed animal. A scarf, a slipper, appliques, skirts - everything. It's crazy. However, sometimes it's just funny.
Like when we are waiting in a restaurant for our food. My parents are staring into space, and I am reading. My sister is blankly going through her purse for something, when - A LIGHT shines through the darkness. With a cry of, "Knitting!" she embarks.
Of course by this time everyone in the restaurant is staring. Why? Number uno: she's fourteen. You don't often see a fourteen year old girl knitting. Usually, you would see a person her age with makeup. Two: knitting. Why knitting? Knitting is evil. Make one mistake and your sweater becomes a ball of tangles, with you standing behind the monstrous thing, crying, "Blast! I knew I was supposed to loop around the back, but did I? NO!" Terribly infuriating. I'm certain that it causes insanity. Haven't ya looked at me lately? *Cackles*
Number three: Also... yarn has a mind of its own. Leave it in a closet for a week without doing anything with it and it multiplies. Then when you open the closet to get it, you end up with a yarn mountain covering you past your head. Maybe it gets lonely.
Fourth and finally... Who wants yarn in their food?

Monday, July 12, 2010

Suzyblue's Fantastic Apps (Of Do0m)

My mom got the new IPhone 4G, and she thinks all these different apps are really awesome. Here I was thinking, (as she downloaded Twitter (help!)) “It’s like… like… like you could get anything as an app! What if…” . So I was led to this post, what with my erratic frame of mind.
Here is a list of Suzyblue’s Fantastic Apps (Of Do0m)

ISmell:
This app will allow man to smell thing that no man has smelled before! ( This is a Star Trek reference. We’re trying to attract a large consumer base. ) Caution: This may allow you to smell things that you really would prefer not to smell. Therefore, we are also selling a NEW product- Mr. Clean, Mighty Sheen!) $1.50. This App may also cause customer to smell like dirty socks due to malfunctions.

ITaste:
All you’ve got to do is lick the screen of your IPhone while using this app, and you will taste… Cookies! This app is absolutely FREE! 99 percent sugar and fat free. Due to the… advanced technology *cough cough* you must rub cookies all over your phone first, however! Remember, this is absolutely free! Biting phone will not make the phone taste any better, not to mention that you will need a new phone. Cookies not included.

IFaint:
You will be the instant envy of all of your friends and enemies wiiith… IFAINT! You can easily escape any bad situation with a spectacular swooning show. Take a deep whiff of the phone. It will be letting out a noxious fume for exactly 7.213845296350 seconds. You will then faint both stylishly-and sensationally! Make the front cover of the Times! Make enemies cry! Prank your friends! Escape that shopping trip in a simple click of a button! Great at birthday parties. Buy NOW! There are varieties of scents, from onions to garbage to Great Grandpa’s farts! $2.99. Side effects may include growing beaver teeth, extra facial hair, and turning blue.


So there you have it! If these don’t work, don’t look at me.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Disaster May Strike when playing Frizbee With Rabid Almost-Twelve-Year-Old

Okay. So I want my dad to teach me how to play Frizbee. Perfectly harmless, right?
NOT! For me, my dad...anyone within fifty feet... It is NOT SAFE to play frizbee with a rabid almost-twelve year old. This has yet to become a health law. :O
...Mostly because I either duck or scream, "INCOMING" whenever the frizbee gets within ten feet of me. Not pleasant. Also, I'm scared of having it hit me in the head, and I can't throw to save my life. Well, you are supposed to face your fears, right? So, here is a little jingle to help remember the rules:
We play a game
There is a disc,
You throw it round,
Don't duck, *tisk tisk*
The only rule
Is have some fun,
And please oh please,
Don't kill anyone!

...Don't ask.
I am overlooking the reality of the fact that I haven't been on my blog in so long that nobody is reading it. Too bad. I'M still posting even if nobody reads it.
However, I can't write about books anymore. I'm too hyperactive to write such long posts. So, I will write about whatever comes to mind... but it has to be funny. I'm not that funny.
Ho-hum, you say. NO MORE HO-HUMMING! Now,you must say, 'oh crumbs'! Because I don't care how lame I am, this blog must be FUNNY!
I'm done ranting. Now, what should I write about...

Our dog, Eric, is either REALLY dissing us... or he is just really dumb. I'd like to think the latter, but whenever we call him, he gives us THE LOOK that says, "I'm ignoring you. Really. You always call me Refrigerator and I used to come to that. Now I know, and I will get you BACK!".
What's THE LOOK? You know. I know. THE LOOK IS THERE, hiding. Waiting to come out...
The look is ebilness. i can say no more, or the radioactive rabbits will ambush me in the night... :O
I wasn't joking when I said that the dog comes to calls of Refrigerator, George Bush, and Rabbit. I tell you, he comes to everything BUT his own name. It's like he is saying, " Look, I know my name isn't Eric. Call me my NAME, REFRIGERATOR, and then I might come.
But I feel really silly running around the house looking for him, calling, "REFRIGERATOR! Refrigerator, COME!"

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Woah

Woah!!! I, like, totally forgot about my blog! Lots has happened, but i can't write everything down or my hand would hurt real bad. I just wanted to inform you that I'm going to be getting braces soon. Ouch. But at least I'll get ice cream a lot cuz' my mouth'll be sore. Also, I will be going to sixth grade soon, and I get new glasses frames and a phone before that! I'm so excited!
Okay, let's get down to business. if you are a horse/dolphin/animal lover, please comment! And if you're not, comment anyway.
I am having lots of fun, and I have a weird story to tell. Please listen.
So, let me get this straight for you. I HATE PINK. I DETEST PINK.
Anyway, my school's 50's day is coming up, and I really wanted Straw to make me a new poodle skirt, blue instead of my pink one. She said NO. I knew she meant, " What a waste of time this is your last 50's day you don't need another skirt" , but I was pouting anyway.
A few days later, I went to Firefox's house and found out her mother was making her a new poodle skirt with the same pink felt and poodle! It was so funny!
I have to go now, but I will keep you posted, especially on the braces thing.

Will write later,

-SuzyBlu

Monday, December 22, 2008

I'm goin' home for the holidays..

Wheee! I'm going to Grandma's house for Christmas & I have something like a million presents & nijtjumyurteyirt,jbul y,.t0unb./ty09uml9t7u 0oyuIY(I_r,.70..... AAAAAAHHH run AWAY the TYPO MONSTERS are coming to GET me!!!!

Wheeew.... calm down, steady now boy...

So. Not much else to say..... just a laugh for you today... OR SO YOU THINK!!! No really, the typo monsters do exist, y' know...

So anyways, Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanzaa or anything, But I'm leaving Blogger for this present moment... 'Cuz if I don't leave now, this will not be a blog post so much as a COMPLETE MESS... So, bye!

:) SuzyBlu