My sister is knitter. She's super at it. She can knit anything, positively ANYTHING, that she wants to. A sweater. A stuffed animal. A scarf, a slipper, appliques, skirts - everything. It's crazy. However, sometimes it's just funny.
Like when we are waiting in a restaurant for our food. My parents are staring into space, and I am reading. My sister is blankly going through her purse for something, when - A LIGHT shines through the darkness. With a cry of, "Knitting!" she embarks.
Of course by this time everyone in the restaurant is staring. Why? Number uno: she's fourteen. You don't often see a fourteen year old girl knitting. Usually, you would see a person her age with makeup. Two: knitting. Why knitting? Knitting is evil. Make one mistake and your sweater becomes a ball of tangles, with you standing behind the monstrous thing, crying, "Blast! I knew I was supposed to loop around the back, but did I? NO!" Terribly infuriating. I'm certain that it causes insanity. Haven't ya looked at me lately? *Cackles*
Number three: Also... yarn has a mind of its own. Leave it in a closet for a week without doing anything with it and it multiplies. Then when you open the closet to get it, you end up with a yarn mountain covering you past your head. Maybe it gets lonely.
Fourth and finally... Who wants yarn in their food?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Suzyblue's Fantastic Apps (Of Do0m)
My mom got the new IPhone 4G, and she thinks all these different apps are really awesome. Here I was thinking, (as she downloaded Twitter (help!)) “It’s like… like… like you could get anything as an app! What if…” . So I was led to this post, what with my erratic frame of mind.
Here is a list of Suzyblue’s Fantastic Apps (Of Do0m)
ISmell:
This app will allow man to smell thing that no man has smelled before! ( This is a Star Trek reference. We’re trying to attract a large consumer base. ) Caution: This may allow you to smell things that you really would prefer not to smell. Therefore, we are also selling a NEW product- Mr. Clean, Mighty Sheen!) $1.50. This App may also cause customer to smell like dirty socks due to malfunctions.
ITaste:
All you’ve got to do is lick the screen of your IPhone while using this app, and you will taste… Cookies! This app is absolutely FREE! 99 percent sugar and fat free. Due to the… advanced technology *cough cough* you must rub cookies all over your phone first, however! Remember, this is absolutely free! Biting phone will not make the phone taste any better, not to mention that you will need a new phone. Cookies not included.
IFaint:
You will be the instant envy of all of your friends and enemies wiiith… IFAINT! You can easily escape any bad situation with a spectacular swooning show. Take a deep whiff of the phone. It will be letting out a noxious fume for exactly 7.213845296350 seconds. You will then faint both stylishly-and sensationally! Make the front cover of the Times! Make enemies cry! Prank your friends! Escape that shopping trip in a simple click of a button! Great at birthday parties. Buy NOW! There are varieties of scents, from onions to garbage to Great Grandpa’s farts! $2.99. Side effects may include growing beaver teeth, extra facial hair, and turning blue.
So there you have it! If these don’t work, don’t look at me.
Here is a list of Suzyblue’s Fantastic Apps (Of Do0m)
ISmell:
This app will allow man to smell thing that no man has smelled before! ( This is a Star Trek reference. We’re trying to attract a large consumer base. ) Caution: This may allow you to smell things that you really would prefer not to smell. Therefore, we are also selling a NEW product- Mr. Clean, Mighty Sheen!) $1.50. This App may also cause customer to smell like dirty socks due to malfunctions.
ITaste:
All you’ve got to do is lick the screen of your IPhone while using this app, and you will taste… Cookies! This app is absolutely FREE! 99 percent sugar and fat free. Due to the… advanced technology *cough cough* you must rub cookies all over your phone first, however! Remember, this is absolutely free! Biting phone will not make the phone taste any better, not to mention that you will need a new phone. Cookies not included.
IFaint:
You will be the instant envy of all of your friends and enemies wiiith… IFAINT! You can easily escape any bad situation with a spectacular swooning show. Take a deep whiff of the phone. It will be letting out a noxious fume for exactly 7.213845296350 seconds. You will then faint both stylishly-and sensationally! Make the front cover of the Times! Make enemies cry! Prank your friends! Escape that shopping trip in a simple click of a button! Great at birthday parties. Buy NOW! There are varieties of scents, from onions to garbage to Great Grandpa’s farts! $2.99. Side effects may include growing beaver teeth, extra facial hair, and turning blue.
So there you have it! If these don’t work, don’t look at me.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Disaster May Strike when playing Frizbee With Rabid Almost-Twelve-Year-Old
Okay. So I want my dad to teach me how to play Frizbee. Perfectly harmless, right?
NOT! For me, my dad...anyone within fifty feet... It is NOT SAFE to play frizbee with a rabid almost-twelve year old. This has yet to become a health law. :O
...Mostly because I either duck or scream, "INCOMING" whenever the frizbee gets within ten feet of me. Not pleasant. Also, I'm scared of having it hit me in the head, and I can't throw to save my life. Well, you are supposed to face your fears, right? So, here is a little jingle to help remember the rules:
We play a game
There is a disc,
You throw it round,
Don't duck, *tisk tisk*
The only rule
Is have some fun,
And please oh please,
Don't kill anyone!
...Don't ask.
NOT! For me, my dad...anyone within fifty feet... It is NOT SAFE to play frizbee with a rabid almost-twelve year old. This has yet to become a health law. :O
...Mostly because I either duck or scream, "INCOMING" whenever the frizbee gets within ten feet of me. Not pleasant. Also, I'm scared of having it hit me in the head, and I can't throw to save my life. Well, you are supposed to face your fears, right? So, here is a little jingle to help remember the rules:
We play a game
There is a disc,
You throw it round,
Don't duck, *tisk tisk*
The only rule
Is have some fun,
And please oh please,
Don't kill anyone!
...Don't ask.
I am overlooking the reality of the fact that I haven't been on my blog in so long that nobody is reading it. Too bad. I'M still posting even if nobody reads it.
However, I can't write about books anymore. I'm too hyperactive to write such long posts. So, I will write about whatever comes to mind... but it has to be funny. I'm not that funny.
Ho-hum, you say. NO MORE HO-HUMMING! Now,you must say, 'oh crumbs'! Because I don't care how lame I am, this blog must be FUNNY!
I'm done ranting. Now, what should I write about...
Our dog, Eric, is either REALLY dissing us... or he is just really dumb. I'd like to think the latter, but whenever we call him, he gives us THE LOOK that says, "I'm ignoring you. Really. You always call me Refrigerator and I used to come to that. Now I know, and I will get you BACK!".
What's THE LOOK? You know. I know. THE LOOK IS THERE, hiding. Waiting to come out...
The look is ebilness. i can say no more, or the radioactive rabbits will ambush me in the night... :O
I wasn't joking when I said that the dog comes to calls of Refrigerator, George Bush, and Rabbit. I tell you, he comes to everything BUT his own name. It's like he is saying, " Look, I know my name isn't Eric. Call me my NAME, REFRIGERATOR, and then I might come.
But I feel really silly running around the house looking for him, calling, "REFRIGERATOR! Refrigerator, COME!"
However, I can't write about books anymore. I'm too hyperactive to write such long posts. So, I will write about whatever comes to mind... but it has to be funny. I'm not that funny.
Ho-hum, you say. NO MORE HO-HUMMING! Now,you must say, 'oh crumbs'! Because I don't care how lame I am, this blog must be FUNNY!
I'm done ranting. Now, what should I write about...
Our dog, Eric, is either REALLY dissing us... or he is just really dumb. I'd like to think the latter, but whenever we call him, he gives us THE LOOK that says, "I'm ignoring you. Really. You always call me Refrigerator and I used to come to that. Now I know, and I will get you BACK!".
What's THE LOOK? You know. I know. THE LOOK IS THERE, hiding. Waiting to come out...
The look is ebilness. i can say no more, or the radioactive rabbits will ambush me in the night... :O
I wasn't joking when I said that the dog comes to calls of Refrigerator, George Bush, and Rabbit. I tell you, he comes to everything BUT his own name. It's like he is saying, " Look, I know my name isn't Eric. Call me my NAME, REFRIGERATOR, and then I might come.
But I feel really silly running around the house looking for him, calling, "REFRIGERATOR! Refrigerator, COME!"
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